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😂 Funny Would You Rather Questions

Serious dilemmas are for philosophers. These would you rather questions are for people who want to argue passionately about whether it’s worse to have hands for feet or feet for hands.

Fair warning: the debates these start do not end quickly. Someone will still be defending their answer in the car home.

Ready? Tap the button and let the game begin. 🎉

👇 All 80 questions below — steal freely, no sign-up needed.

Absurd Dilemmas

  1. Would you rather have hands for feet or feet for hands?
  2. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?
  3. Would you rather always talk in rhymes or sing everything you say?
  4. Would you rather have a permanently tiny hat glued to your head or shoes that honk with every step?
  5. Would you rather sweat glitter or have your tears be tiny bouncing balls?
  6. Would you rather be chased by one slow zombie forever or startled by a mime once a day?
  7. Would you rather have a dramatic soundtrack follow your life or a laugh track you can’t control?
  8. Would you rather blink loudly or breathe visibly like a cartoon?
  9. Would you rather have arms that grow one inch every year or hair that screams when cut?
  10. Would you rather ride an invisible bike everywhere (it works, but no one believes you) or a very visible unicycle?
  11. Would you rather every door you open be a push-when-it-says-pull or every chair you sit on wobble slightly?
  12. Would you rather speak only in questions or answer only in movie trailer voice?
  13. Would you rather have a belly button that dispenses exact change or elbows that toast bread?
  14. Would you rather your shadow be two seconds late or your reflection wave occasionally?
  15. Would you rather sneeze like a foghorn or laugh like a slowly deflating balloon?
  16. Would you rather be legally required to skip everywhere or to announce “I have arrived” at every entrance?
  17. Would you rather all your shirts be slightly itchy or all your socks slightly damp?
  18. Would you rather have a pet cloud that rains only on you or a personal tumbleweed that follows you in awkward moments?
  19. Would you rather everything you write autocorrect to pirate speak or everything you say echo once?
  20. Would you rather high-five everyone you meet (mandatory) or bow deeply to every dog?
  21. Would you rather your GPS voice be your disappointed parent or your ex?
  22. Would you rather have a kazoo for a voice one day a week or jazz hands you can’t control during serious conversations?
  23. Would you rather be followed by a slow clap every time you enter a room or a drumroll every time you sit down?
  24. Would you rather your phone read all your texts in a baby voice or your alarm be your own voice saying “wakey wakey”?
  25. Would you rather live in a world where everyone’s hair is a mood ring or where everyone’s stomach growls in Morse code?
  26. Would you rather fight crime with the power of aggressive politeness or mild inconvenience?
  27. Would you rather have a theme song that plays only when you fail or a victory dance you must perform after every small win?
  28. Would you rather all elevators play your most embarrassing song or all escalators move at walking-through-honey speed?
  29. Would you rather be fluent in every language but sound sarcastic in all of them, or speak one language extremely sincerely?
  30. Would you rather have a personal narrator with a strong opinion of you or subtitles that appear over your head with typos?

Embarrassing Choices

  1. Would you rather trip on stage at graduation or call your teacher “mom” in front of everyone?
  2. Would you rather have your most embarrassing photo become a meme or your most embarrassing voice memo go viral?
  3. Would you rather wave back at someone who wasn’t waving at you once a day, or hold every door for someone slightly too far away?
  4. Would you rather laugh uncontrollably at every serious moment or cry during every commercial?
  5. Would you rather get spinach in your teeth in every photo or blink in every photo forever?
  6. Would you rather your stomach growl during every quiet moment or your phone ring at full volume in every meeting?
  7. Would you rather walk around all day with a “kick me” sign or toilet paper on your shoe?
  8. Would you rather forget everyone’s name mid-introduction or introduce yourself twice to the same person weekly?
  9. Would you rather sing your order at every restaurant or interpretive-dance your directions when asked?
  10. Would you rather have your browser history displayed on your shirt for a day or your group chat printed and mailed to your grandma?
  11. Would you rather slip on ice in front of your crush or sneeze into your hand right before a handshake?
  12. Would you rather say “you too” when the waiter says “enjoy your meal” every single time, or reply “I’m good” to every “what’s up”?
  13. Would you rather your voice crack during every important sentence or hiccup through every toast?
  14. Would you rather wear your shirt inside out to a job interview or spinach-teeth through a first date?
  15. Would you rather accidentally join a video call with a filter you can’t remove or with your camera roll sharing?
  16. Would you rather clap at the wrong time in every concert or shout “bingo” incorrectly once a month?
  17. Would you rather get caught talking to yourself dramatically or practicing an argument you’ll never have?
  18. Would you rather have to parallel park with a crowd watching every time or dance at every wedding first?
  19. Would you rather text “I love you” to your landlord or reply-all with a personal story at work?
  20. Would you rather be famous for a fall caught on camera or a sneeze that made national news?
  21. Would you rather always wave at cars that don’t stop for you or thank the ATM out loud?
  22. Would you rather push a pull door in front of your entire office every morning or drop your tray in the cafeteria once a month?
  23. Would you rather your karaoke performance be reviewed in the local paper or your gym form corrected by a stranger weekly?
  24. Would you rather call your boss “dude” in a serious meeting or fist-bump the CEO’s handshake?
  25. Would you rather get your own name wrong during an introduction or forget your phone number when someone cute asks for it?

Animals & Aliens

  1. Would you rather be abducted by very polite aliens or discover your cat has been a spy all along?
  2. Would you rather have a goose as a bodyguard or a raccoon as an accountant?
  3. Would you rather all dogs narrate their thoughts in David Attenborough’s voice or all cats openly review your life choices?
  4. Would you rather ride a giant snail (it’s surprisingly comfortable) or a very fast chicken?
  5. Would you rather aliens land during your worst hair day or during your most dramatic karaoke moment?
  6. Would you rather every pigeon knows your name or every squirrel judges your outfit?
  7. Would you rather have a horse that only walks dramatically in slow motion or a dog that moonwalks?
  8. Would you rather negotiate world peace with dolphins or run a bakery with beavers?
  9. Would you rather your pet leave you passive-aggressive notes or review you online (3.5 stars, “feeding inconsistent”)?
  10. Would you rather be fluent in seagull (but only for arguing) or in owl (but only at 3 a.m.)?
  11. Would you rather have an octopus do your hair every morning or a crab do your taxes?
  12. Would you rather every duck you see follow you home once or every cow you pass moo exactly when you speak?
  13. Would you rather be the only human at an all-animal wedding or bring an alien to your family reunion?
  14. Would you rather have a parrot that repeats your secrets or a mirror that gives unsolicited advice?
  15. Would you rather find out penguins have been huddling to gossip about humans or that trees have a group chat?
  16. Would you rather share your home with a very tidy ghost or a very messy yeti?
  17. Would you rather have a llama read your speeches or a hamster manage your schedule?
  18. Would you rather all spiders wave hello politely or all moths whisper “nice lamp”?
  19. Would you rather be knighted by a swan or promoted by a very serious owl?
  20. Would you rather your houseplants applaud when you water them or boo when you forget?
  21. Would you rather every fish you catch compliment you or every mosquito apologize first?
  22. Would you rather have a bear as a spotter at the gym or a kangaroo as a moving buddy?
  23. Would you rather aliens grade humanity’s homework or dolphins host the news?
  24. Would you rather ride a T-Rex to work (tiny arms wave at traffic) or commute inside a friendly whale?
  25. Would you rather your dog gain the ability to text you or your cat gain the ability to leave voicemails?

FAQ

What are some funny would you rather questions?

Crowd favorites include “would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?” and “would you rather have hands for feet or feet for hands?” — absurd choices with no correct answer work best.

What makes a would you rather question funny?

Specificity. “Would you rather be embarrassed?” is nothing; “would you rather your GPS voice be your disappointed parent?” paints a picture. The weirder the mental image, the longer the laugh.

Are these questions okay for work or school?

Yes — this page stays clean. The absurd and animal sections are perfect for team icebreakers; for younger kids, our kids edition is even sillier and 100% classroom-safe.

Keep the Night Going

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